Big Mouth

you can have a high standard of living in India, for which your best effort might have been being born to well to do parents. but you cannot have a high quality of life in this country.

you know when you fall out of love with someone but are still in that relationship and are unable to get out for some reason or another? not that I know really. but I think if I were in that place I'd be able to reconcile staying only if my partner were ailing physically or otherwise, and needed me to take care of him/her. only philanthropy can fill in the gap left by a sudden love-sucked-out-ness. its the same with a place too. its like that these days between me and Delhi (or me and India). (un)fortunately my country is ailing, always has been. then I loved it despite its sickness, despite its scars, but now the only way I could stay without killing myself (not literally) is to tend to it. but am I capable of that? more importantly, do I have the courage for it? For old times' sake??

lately I've been mesmerized by the whole tiny house movement, and have spent/wasted/enjoyed time watching youtube videos of mini spaces. my fascination is probably deeper now that I'm in India... now I'm almost jealous of people who tailor their homes to their living style and daily schedule alone; who don't bother about guests, and most importantly, who need no house-help to maintain their living spaces (read no one to spoil and mess up their homes). and then guess what, I found a small group of tiny houses in India, where I'd least expected them. but more than that, I found a maverick Indian guy who built a house out of shipping containers (although not so tiny, this one). pretty cool, I'd say. and the narrator who covered this story hit the nerve when she said: "the biggest barrier" (to adoption and emulation of this idea) "is perhaps psychological"! as with all new ideas in India.... (sigh). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bh59v6d...

languages often bear the cultural baggage of the communities that led to their creation, and who they serve. and many eastern languages have formal and informal ways to address people; those your peers and those your seniors even if simply by order of birth. French, a western language also has this though. amreekis lack a lot of formality that abounds here in desh. here respect is deserved by age, and if not received, is announced to be offensive. but that's not it... there's more to the formality than respect for the greying hair. its an offence if not a misdemeanor to ask your guests to behave themselves, to open their shoes if they come into your home, your bedroom, your bathroom. an offence if you trash someone's illusion that they are your friends, even if there's been a hiatus in reaching out and sharing for almost a decade (they still expect you to lend a ear to their bitching), an offence to criticize the norms in this country that defy logic, an offence to po...

numero uno: A: hi 'auntie', i live upstairs, we recently 'shifted' here. someone took the terrace key from me this morning, and I don't know which flat they live in so I'm asking all the neighbors who could have. was it you? B: come come beta, come inside. no, we didn't take your key, but come inside, we are your neighbors we should get to know each other, etc. etc. will you have tea? sit down. A: no, thanks 'auntie'. B: so tell me who are you? and who do you live with ? A: I am so-and-so; and my husband so-and-so. B: where have you come from? A: the US. B: oh. and where are your parents? A: here only. B: oh good. how long have you been married? A: 7 years now. B: 7 years??!!! and you still don't have any children?! you must do now. A: we are not interested. B: ok ok. but so long. now you should do. don't your parents tell you to? A: no. B: ok. so they must know na that you don't want. now I also know I won't ...

can't believe it. i just got a call from a third party seller (that operates on Amazon) requesting me to change my negative review regarding an order from it that never came, and offering me a Rs. 500 coupon in exchange. wow. the guts of the seller. some days ago, a paper was being presented at ISI, about Tripadvisor reviews and the website's use versus advertising. there was a question/pointer by someone in the audience that stretched on for some 15-20 mins with other people jumping in from both sides of the argument that it created (peaceful academic argument). that was about sellers manipulating customer reviews. no wonder everyone has happy #UL stories as well. whereas my experience has been delays, wrong products delivered and then further delays while they were replaced. agreed its better than its next best alternative, but that doesn't say much for it in a country where inefficiencies are the norm.

haan i'm still complaining ... ppl blame all the problems of india on 'the system'. as if there's an infrastructure of inanimate objects that create hurdles and problems, mess up anything good that is ever created or set up, juice out ppl's energies and creativity, leaving everything impossible to change or improve. its worse because ppl refuse to realize that they are the system. they sustain it proudly, they keep it oiled and functioning, systematically. "madam, aise hi hota hai". that one line I so hate. earlier I'd let it pass. now i counter it with "but aise to nahi hona chahiye, na?" that leaves them either repeating their line, or speechless. no they don't consider the contradiction, they don't consider a change. and that's the brick that must be broken. a guy who comes to install a water purifier should ensure that pure water is coming out of it for the consumer. but no. "madam, isko aadhe ghante ke baad off kar dena...